Here I am again – it is 2:30 and I should be fast asleep. However, there are so many things on my mind that I can’t seem to turn my brain off, even for just a minute. It probably doesn’t help that I’m on my laptop or that I was watching shows on Netflix with friends until 12:00. But still. I’m wondering why my insomnia has started up again at such an unfortunate time.
I have class at 8:30 in the morning. Not only should I be sleeping, but I actually want to be asleep. I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
God, is there a reason for my wandering mind? Is there a purpose for my heart to be so… restless right now? What are you trying to say to me – and how can I listen? It’s interesting to me that I would be having this struggle while in a crash course for spiritual formation here at Spring Arbor. I’ve been exposed to several new and exciting – albeit, challenging – disciplines. One of the things we have read and discussed is why it is so difficult to tune out your own thoughts and listen to God.
I want to be listening.