A Happy Nightmare.

It’s a paradox, I know. But that is the only way to explain my dream last night; while I was sleeping, it was the happiest dream in the world, but as soon as I woke up, it felt like a nightmare. Or perhaps, more accurately, just a really bad dream. How is it that I can be so happy when I dream about something, then feel like bursting into tears when I wake up and it’s gone? Because it’s the one thing I want to happen… marriage.

Most girls would dream about their actual wedding, looking like a princess for a day, and living in a fairy tale. Not me. No, my dream would have been considered boring to most people; my boyfriend and I, as a married couple, simply hung out in our house. I did not dream of the wedding itself, because that’s one part I could care less about.

Weird? Maybe.

I think it may be God telling me that I really am ready to move on with my life. I’m always scared that what I am doing or going to do is wrong, but perhaps the fact that it is always on my mind and that I am focused on the long run means that I am ready.

The one thing that I have been wondering is why, why, why do I have to wait for so long for it to be reality? This is killing the over-thinker in me.

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